The Philippines is a melting pot of wedding traditions. Some were from the early Filipinos, from ethnic tribes, and others from the neighboring countries in Asia that had traded with early Filipinos. Some which originate from Spanish missionaries who visited the country early in the 18th century. Many of these traditions are drawn from the dominant Christian religion of the Philippines, Catholicism. Kasalan is the Filipino word for Wedding.
Unlike in the United States where the bride’s family pays for the wedding, in the Philippines, expenses are paid for by the groom’s family. The bride’s gown is custom-made rather than bought ready made off the rack. Both the bride and groom wear white, with the groom wearing a traditional transparent button-up shirt called the barong.
Wedding invitations cover both the ceremony and the reception; therefore reception cards are not used. Also included in the wedding invitation is a page that gives all the names and roles of those in the bridal party or the entourage card. In the Philippines, the most popular month for a wedding is December, as opposed to June in the United States, although the latest from the NSO says that it’s on May.
The wedding is usually done on Saturdays although a portion of Filipinos are now picking the weekdays for practical reasons… budget. The wedding date is chosen based on the waxing of the moon, when the moon is on the way to the full moon which would mean that more blessings would come to the couple’s way. A date with an 8 is also more popular.
On how the wedding is going to be… the decision is taken on by the bride’s parents. A dutiful bride-to-be is then expected to bow down to the whims of her parents while the groom’s side is expected to finance all of the wedding costs as opposed to that in the United States where the bride’s side cover the wedding costs. These days, a lot of couples choose to share expenses.
It is also customary for the wedding to be held at the bride’s hometown if they are not from the same state.
The bride and groom arrive separately and at different times for the ceremony. The groom arrives up to an hour before hand to receive guests. The bride however, arrives just in time for her bridal march. Both the bride and the groom march down the aisle, the groom either alone or with his parents.
The marrying couple picks a few pairs of ninongs and ninangs (godparents) to be the primary sponsors/witnesses of the ceremony. In addition to the bridesmaids and groomsmen, three pairs of wedding attendants act as secondary sponsors who manage the wedding candles, veil and cord ceremonies which make take place during the nuptial mass. The bride holds an heirloom rosary along with the bridal bouquet during the ceremony. Generally the wedding ceremony includes a full mass which runs about an hour.
In addition to exchanging rings, the groom gives his bride an arrhae, which is a monetary gift in the form of thirteen pieces of gold or silver coins. This is a pledge from the groom of his dedication to the welfare of his wife and children. The arrhae is carried by a coin bearer who walks alongside the ring bearer for both the processional and recessional.
Candles stand on each side of the couple. Candle attendants light these candles which symbolize God’s presence in the union. Some couples integrate the lighting of a Unity candle into the service. The Unity candle has its origins in the Protestant religion. After the candles are lit, veil sponsors drape a long white tulle veil on the grooms shoulder and pin it. Another veil is then draped over the bride’s head. The veils are used to symbolize two people who are ‘clothed’ as one.
The last pair of sponsors stands with a cord in the form of a figure eight and place one loop around the neck-shoulder area of the bride and the other loop around the neck-shoulder area of the groom. The cord symbolizes the infinite bond of the marriage. This cord can be a silken rope or made from a string of flowers or links of coins.
After the ceremony, during the reception, a pair of white doves is released by the newlyweds to signify peace and harmony during the marriage. Whoever catches them takes them home as a pet. Instead of tossing of the bouquet, the bride instead offers the flowers to a favorite Saint or the Virgin Mary. Some opt to place the bouquet on the grave of a lost love one.
Traditional Filipino weddings are very strong in the faith, emphasizing God in every part of the ceremony and inviting Him into their lives. Also, every part of the ceremony emphasizes the joining of two people as one in a life long commitment of love and caring.
Drop the words "Filipiniana-themed wedding" and instantly, images straight from the classic Noli Me Tangere come to mind. Historic churches in Intramuros, quaint banderitas and a luscious buffet spread of lechon, pansit and a colorful assortment of kakanin capture the quintessential "Pinoy" celebration.
We Filipinos, after all, are known around the world for our unique and heartwarming brand of merrymaking… which is why couples to this day, do opt to celebrate their marriage in true Filipino fashion. Whether the theme is evident in the abaca giveaways or the bamboo centerpieces, the rondalla that serenades the guests or the traditional kundimans, couples today can have an authentically Pinoy touch to their weddings in more ways than one.
The trick is to remember that while "Filipino" does include all the superficial detailing that goes into wedding planning—the gown, the souvenirs, the food—it reaches far deeper than that. A Filipino wedding… regardless of its décor or its faithfulness to the traditions of old, becomes truly Filipino when it is planned with the same fun, fervor, passion and love for family that goes into our multi-faceted culture.
PICK A THEME:
Choosing Filipiniana as your wedding’s basic theme is only a starting point. Think of it as a basic, all-around theme that you’ve got to narrow down. Remember that the more specialized and specific your theme is, the more personal the feel of your wedding will be.
Period-centric. The Filipiniana look has evolved as a consequence of our country’s colorful history. A Turn of the Century wedding, for example, would have you drawing inspiration from icons from Rizal’s time—a Maria Clara inspired wedding gown patterned out of embroidered piña, capiz shell lamps in an outdoor garden reception, are just a few images based on that period. A Pinoy Pop wedding on the other hand could leave you with images of a sorbetero stand at the reception, a fun, acapella, Ryan Cayabyab-style arrangement for your songs or even kitschy candies such as Orange Sweets, Tarzan gum and Choc-nut scattered all over your guests’ tables.
Province-centric. You could opt to base your wedding on your province’s traditions. If you’re running out of unique menu ideas, think about the fare your region’s known for. Bicolanos, for example, can give away pili rolls, while Batangueños could wrap some barako beans as wedding souvenirs. Even hors d’oeuvres can be inspired by what province you come from—those from Laguna can serve kesong puti snacks.
Invitations Say It All: Invitations primarily supply your guests with the who’s what’s and where’s of your wedding. Apart from that, they clue those in attendance about what to expect on the day itself—a formal 300-guest sit-down dinner scenario, or an intimate no-holds-barred garden party? Your invites are a great way to seal the Filipiniana stamp on your wedding. They’re the perfect venue to tell everyone who’s invited that your theme is "going local!"
Handmade or recycled paper is usually associated with the Filipiniana theme. Mix these neutral, natural colors up with a bright graphic, or a splash of color to liven up the look.
Accessorize with textured materials such as weaves (banig), raffia or twine, shells, sand or even dried flowers.
Dig up your archives for old photographs of your church and turn your invitations, save-the-date cards or even thank you notes into vintage-looking postcards with the church as the background.
Personalize your invitations with the type of language you use. Deep, Balagtas-type Tagalog for true blue Manileños, or idiosyncratic Taglish for a quirky twist.
Dress the Part: The piece de resistance at any Filipiniana wedding is the execution of the bridal gown. Traditional brides can subscribe to the customary terno using jusi or pinya, while more contemporary brides can opt for sleeker, more modern cuts using materials such as abel iloco. Rifle through your grandparents’ old wedding photos for inspiration, or brave your mom’s baul for undiscovered finds, and keep in mind that thinking out of the box will usually reward you with the most individual, most personal looks.
Fuse Filipino flowers such as sampaguita into your bouquet or weave sinamay into your entourage’s floral arrangements for flowers that go well with the outfits.
Have your shoe take on a streamlined bakya form.
The Church Ceremony: Filipinos have a marked way of celebrating weddings—from the veil, cord and candle traditions to the picture taking with both sides of the family. Hearing mass in Filipino in an old, historic church, writing your vows in your dialect and even listening to Filipino-arranged songs during the ceremony make for a very "Pinoy" ambience. Decorating the church accordingly will keep your theme cohesive as well:
1. leaving abanikos in the pews for guests to fan themselves during mass
2. covering the aisle in sinamay and scattering sampaguita and ilang-ilang
3. using a traditional banig for the bride to walk on
4. raffia twine embellished with pearls for the cord
5. using a kalesa or stylized jeepney as the couple’s transportation
Filipino Fiestas
Pinoys are famous for the parties they throw, from the annual fiestas each province celebrates to the games everyone remembers from childhood, from the impressive spread of kare-kare and pansit to everyone’s favorite halo-halo and sapin-sapin. The way you carry out your Filipiniana reception depends mainly on the type of Pinoy atmosphere you want for your wedding. Traditionalists will love a Father Blanco’s Garden-type outdoor reception, while pop culturists can go crazy with ideas such as a layered puto wedding cake or a dirty ice cream vendor positioned right by the dessert. Go Barrio Fiesta with your party with clay pots as chafing dishes, centerpieces made out of fresh, local fruits in bilaos or mini bahay kubo replicas. Have your guests serenaded with your favorite harana, or remind them of summers spent in the province with banana leaf placemats or bao used as placecard holders, capiz for napkin rings or even tuba instead of wine! Even the traditional bouquet toss and garter throw can adapt to games you used to play as children--bato-bato pick, pabitin or even pukpok palayok! Wax nostalgic by leaving your guests with gifts like framed, old Peso bills, jeepney magnets, or native delicacies wrapped in pretty abaca or sinamay packages.
***Source: Manila Bulletin Online
from: kasalangpinoy.com
The wedding day is a time of great rejoicing. Its celebration is not an individual concern but affects the whole barrio. Even before the banns are proclaimed in the parish church, the highlights of conversation are focused on it. Excitement and anticipation pervade the atmosphere.
The kinsmen of the groom pool all their resources to prepare for the momentous event - to provide the bridal gown, decorate the church and the bride’s house, attend to the many guests that come, make ready for the marriage feast, and arrange all other pertinent details.
The last days that a maiden spends with her family are trying. Her parents, clinging to the last fragile hope of keeping their girl, try to discourage her by stressing the hardships of the married state, the defects of her husband-to-be, the unavoidable in-law problems, etc. Some fathers put on an air of indifference or pretend to be sick. Mothers become too strict and fault-finding, or hysterically give away to tears. The bride shuns company and attendance at public affairs to avoid comments and staring glances.
The wedding is set on a day when the moon is waxing. Barrio elders say that marriages held when the moon is waning meet with no luck and prosperity, a belief that seems to be widespread among other Visayan peoples.
The Eve of the Wedding (likod-likod) Special festivities are held in connection with the eve of the wedding (likod-likod) with the main purpose of stimulating friendship and good will between the families of the two contracting parties. Another objective is to commemorate the last day before the couple share a wedded life together. The parents of both bride and groom address each other in the familiar terms, "Pare" (for the fathers) and "Mare" (for the mothers). Aside from bearing all expenses for the feast, the boy’s kinsmen take care of entertaining and serving the guests, especially the bride’s circle of relatives and close friends. There is a plentiful supply of food and drinks, music and merry-making. Great precaution is taken that nothing unpleasant happens, that all visitors are pleased and well fed, and that the provisions are not exhausted. An unruffled, bounteous feast presages luck and happiness for the nuptial day.
A woman expert is oftentimes asked to take charge of dishing out the rice and viands on big plates (bandejados). She utters certain invocations as she scoops out the rice with a coconut ladle (luwag), to make sure that the food will be sufficient for the feast. A shortage would put the groom’s family to shame and predict failure for the marriage celebrations.
The betrothed pair takes part in the festivities, which may last till the late hours of the night, but the parents see to it that they retire early.
Filipinos still adhere to numerous widely-held folk beliefs that have no scientific or logical basis but maybe backed-up by some past experiences (yet can be dismissed as mere coincidence). Below are just a few that concerns weddings. Some are still practiced to this day primarily because of 'there's nothing to lose if we comply' attitude while the others are totally ignored for it seemed downright ridiculous. Read on...
Brides shouldn't try on her wedding dress before the wedding day or the wedding will not push through.
Knives and other sharp and pointed objects are said to be a bad choice for wedding gifts for this will lead to a broken marriage.
Giving arinola (chamberpot) as wedding gift is believed to bring good luck to newlyweds.
Altar-bound couples are accident-prone and therefore must avoid long drives or traveling before their wedding day for safety.
The groom who sits ahead of his bride during the wedding ceremony will be a henpecked husband.
If it rains during the wedding, it means prosperity and happiness for the newlyweds.
- A flame extinguished on one of the wedding candles means the one on which side has the unlit candle, will die ahead of the other.
Throwing rice confetti at the newlyweds will bring them prosperity all their life.
The groom must arrive before the bride at the church to avoid bad luck.
It is considered bad luck for two siblings to marry on the same year.
Breaking something during the reception brings good luck to the newlyweds.
The bride should step on the groom's foot while walking towards the altar if she wants him to agree to her every whim.
A bride who wears pearls on her wedding will be an unhappy wife experiencing many heartaches and tears.
An unmarried woman who follows the footsteps (literally) of the newlyweds will marry soon.
Dropping the wedding ring, the veil or the arrhae during the ceremony spells unhappiness for the couple.
In early Filipino custom, the groom-to-be threw his spear at the front steps of his intended's home, a sign that she has been spoken for. These days, a ring suffices as the symbol of engagement.
The Engagement
After the couple has decided to marry, the first order of business is the pamanhikan, where the groom and his parents visit the bride's family to ask for her hand in marriage. Wedding plans are often made at this time, including a discussion of the budget and guest list. Don't be surprised if the groom-to-be is expected to run some errands or help out around the bride's house. This tradition is called paninilbihan, where the suitor renders service to his future wife's family to gain their approval.
The Wedding Outfits
The white wedding dress has become popular in the last hundred years or so with America's influence in the Philippines. Before that, brides wore their best dress, in a festive color or even stylish black, to celebrate a wedding. Orange blossom bouquets and adornments were a must during the turn of the last century. For men, the barong tagalog is the traditional Filipino formal wear. It is a cool, almost transparent, embroidered shirt, made from silky pina or jusi, two native ecru fabrics. It is worn untucked, over black pants, with a white t-shirt underneath. These days, a Filipino American groom might wear the conventional black tux, but Filipino male wedding guests will usually show up in their finest barongs.
The Ceremony
In pre-colonial days, a wedding ceremony lasted three days. On the first day, the bride and groom were brought to the house of a priest or babaylan, who joined their hands over a plate of raw rice and blessed the couple. On the third day, the priest pricked the chests of both bride and groom and drew a little blood. Joining their hands, they declared their love for each other three times. The priest then fed them cooked rice from the same plate and gave them a drink of some of their blood mixed with water. Binding their hands and necks with a cord, he declared them married. The majority of Filipino weddings are now Catholic weddings, but some native traditions remain. Most have special "sponsors" who act as witnesses to the marriage. The principal sponsors could be godparents, counselors, a favorite uncle and aunt, even a parent. Secondary sponsors handle special parts of the ceremony, such as the candle, cord and veil ceremonies. Candle sponsors light two candles, which the bride and groom use to light a single candle to symbolize the joining of the two families and to invoke the light of Christ in their married life. Veil sponsors place a white veil over the bride's head and the groom's shoulders, a symbol of two people clothed as one. Cord sponsors drape the yugal (a decorative silk cord) in a figure-eight shape--to symbolize everlasting fidelity--over the shoulders of the bride and groom. The groom gives the bride 13 coins, or arrhae, blessed by the priest, as a sign of his dedication to his wife's well-being and the welfare of their future children.
The Food
The Filipino wedding feast is elaborate. One feast celebrated at the turn of the last century involved these foods: First was served cold vermicelli soup. The soup was followed by meats of unlimited quantity--stewed goat, chicken minced with garlic, boiled ham, stuffed capon, roast pork and several kinds of fish. There were no salads, but plenty of relishes, including red peppers, olives, green mango pickles and crystallized fruits. For dessert, there were meringues, baked custard flan, coconut macaroons and sweetened seeds of the nipa plant.
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